If He Had Been with Me: The Tiktok Sensation

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Both breathtaking and heartbreaking, this novel will leave you completely stunned...you can rest assured that this will be one book in your life you will never regret." — teenreads.com The novel is narrated by its protagonist, Autumn, a recent graduate from school who is talking about an accident and argument. Not hers, but her best friend Finny and his girlfriend Sylvie’s. A car which skids off the rainy road. Autumn is begging him to stay in her narration- where, we don’t know. This sweet, authentic love story masks complex characters dealing with complex issues: single parents, divorce, only children yet ersatz siblings; high school, college, the pull of the clique; love, friendship, sex, and teen pregnancy . . . First-time author Nowlin keeps the story real and fast paced, avoiding the melodramatic." " - Booklist Now, plot? There are a couple of things I would’ve personally done differently. I didn’t like the fact that Nowlin started the book talking about the tragedy that drives the book forward. It would’ve been much more entertaining to me to not know about this thing that literally destroys Autumn and just find out when she finds out in the book. It felt like a prologue and I don’t like prologues. Also, why did Laura Nowlin have to do that to me…. It hurt. Like, bad bad. Though I feel bad for saying this, Autumn was really annoying at times. I hated her "not like other girls" and "quirky" (that word makes me cringe every time I see it 🙄) attitude, and also how she just kept acting so weird around Jamie. Not that I care about Jamie. I realize that she was going through stuff and I probably shouldn't hate her for all this, but I can't help it, if someone annoys me, I will say it (obviously not in person, I hate talking to people and am way too introverted to ever tell someone they're annoying)

He’s there to break up with her, citing she’s too much and too needy, especially her depressive phases- which occur heavily during winters. The most important part was that he says he and Sasha have discovered feelings for each other and even slept together a few weeks before prom. Autumn cuts ties with both. Finny and Autumn connect once again On the other hand, shy Finny joins that popular group, which astonishes Autumn. Moreover, he starts dating Sylvie, a quintessential popular girl. Moving through school and growing up Honestly, I hadn't thought I was going to cry once I'd begun reading because I didn't like the characters, but look at me now.I can feel the printed words seeping through my skin and into my veins, rushing to my heart and marking it forever."

The biggest thing that I hated about this, was the fact that there wasn't much feeling. To say that this book is about death, I really felt it was going to be a tear jerker, but I found my self just shrugging and saying "Oh, he's gone." I really expected to be in heavy tears. And not only then. There was graduation and the breakup too where I didn't feel any type of emotion from the writing. It was just another moment in the book to me. Until the very end. And when I say very end I mean at 95%. If it had been like that the entire book, I would have liked this soooooo much more. All relationships in this book were shallow, except the relationship between Finny and Autumn. So, is the reader supposed to believe that Autumn and Finny were just Meant To Be and Perfect For Each Other? There are other ways, you know, to demonstrate this, and you're certainly not supposed to make all Autumn's other relationships just shallow. Her romantic relationship with Jamie was so surface level. Her friendship between the kids in her friend group were so shallow. They were arguing. No one ever says what they were arguing about. It is, in other people's opinions, not important to the story. What they do not know is that there is another story. The story lurking underneath and in between the facts of the one they can see. What they do not know, the cause of the argument, is crucial to the story of me.This book could have been so extremely epic. But there were so many things preventing it from being that. It took me couple days just to sit down and figure out how to word the review without turning it into a rant. Yes, I am just THAT mad at this. Finn (I will not be caught DEAD calling him Finny 😒) is a gem and such a sweetheart, though I still didn't really care for him. He was adorable and all that but nothing really new. That sounds a little harsh honestly, but it's the truth. I loved how he treated Autumn, but he also shouldn't have cheated on his girlfriend with her. No matter if he was breaking up with her the next day, it still isn't right. Access-restricted-item true Addeddate 2019-09-20 08:12:32 Bookplateleaf 0006 Boxid IA1665509 Camera Sony Alpha-A6300 (Control) Collection_set printdisabled External-identifier

Another thing I didn't like was the characters. Like the way Autumn was so dependent on her friends and boyfriend. She felt like there was no way her and Finny could be friends (even though they knew each other since birth) and she wouldn't do anything without their permission. And then there was how childish she was. The book goes over memories from elementary school, middle school, and high school and it seemed like they were all the same. None of them showed any growth in her besides the fact that she didn't want to be friends with Finny anymore. It was weird. She still seemed as if she was in middle school the entire time. And Finny? He was just unrealistic to me. If you're looking for an emotionally-charged teen read, this is your book-hands down. Fans of YA Contemporary Romance, New Adult, or Coming of Age will also enjoy this book." - Literary Meanderings I want to savor this wonder, this happening of loving a book and reading it for the first time, because the first time is always the best, and I will never read this book for the first time ever again.”

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This is a slow-burn romance that focuses on the main character's story and thoughts. In If He Had Been with Me, we see family, friendship, high school, and romance through Autumn's point of view. The storytelling is simple and repetitive. It's unclear whether that's meant to convey Autumn's voice or is just the author's style. There's little plot and not much action as Autumn, Finny, and their friends move through high school. Finny stands out as a role model: He's empathetic and compassionate. Teen readers may relate to some of the characters' experiences, such as shifts in friend groups, cliques, and trying on various identities. Autumn used to be friends with her first door neighbor, Finn but after middle school she becomes very popular and they grow apart. Now in high school, Autumn is a part of a gang who are different from other students. They dress differently, listen to cool music, change their hair colors, well you get the picture. Finn is hangin with the popular crowd-cheerleaders and football players and they ignore each other all the time except it's hard since their mothers are really close friends and they even eat together. But come August, things will change forever. And as time passes, Autumn will be forced to confront how else life might have been different if they had never parted ways… Autumn and Finn’s] romance is Shakespeare-worthy in its tragic dimension. Autumn’s reflections on love’s possibilities and near-misses will surely resonate with the unsettled teen soul, and readers will get exactly what they came for, and then some." — The Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books

That still doesn't stop the way Autumn feels every time she and Finn cross paths, and the growing, nagging thought that maybe things could have been different. Maybe they should be together. The heart of this novel is an examination of an unresolved childhood love that is so pure and sweet that it seems too fragile to survive the turbulent years of adolescence. Using tender prose that makes it hard not to care about the main characters, this title chronicles four years of high school and the confusing post-graduation period. At the end, when Nowlin reveals why Finny should have been with Autumn all along, readers are sure to feel the ache of life’s capriciousness. " — School Library JournalRegarding the ending, I can say that I had a guess of what was happening- like, the prologue basically tells you what happens, just not explicitly, but I apparently was just really confused and didn't know what it meant, but I just created my own guess for the ending and got it correct (and I may have seen a review that basically confirmed my suspicions-) So overall, this was a pretty good book. There were some flaws and things that could have been better, but I liked it. I just wish Autumn had been a better main character (I feel like I'm being a little judgmental on her honestly, but oh well. If I said I liked her I'd be lying and no one likes a liar).