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A primary teacher informs her students that she is a Liverpool fan. She invites her students to raise their hands if they, too, support Liverpool. Except for one little girl, everyone in the class raises their hands. On one occasion, when Mike and Bernie were appearing in pantomime in Bournemouth, they braved a blizzard to drive more than a hundred miles to play a game in a tiny town in Bedfordshire. The following week, however, they again battled the inclement weather and travelled to Ruislip, reeking of wintergreen, only to discover that they had been dropped from the starting eleven.
Four football fans were climbing a mountain one day. Each was a fan of a different team in the premiership and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their football team.
51. We have the tallest maypole in the UK
The first one asks, "Oh Lord, when will Arsenal next win the Champions League?". God Replies, "In the next five years" Round Three ('The Final Green') had the last surviving contestant answering up to four questions correctly to win sufficient time for their celebrity partner to putt as many as ten golf balls into the hole and win them the star prize of a slightly exotic holiday. What did the referee say to the South American footballer in the World Cup who lied about handling the ball? I don’t Bolivia!
Two Leeds fans talking. The first guy says: "Did you hear about Bert? 'E were found shagging a sheep behind the barn last night?"There was nothing intrinsically wrong about this. One person's all-absorbing hobby is another person's painful headache, but, so long as one respects the other's right to be left alone to pursue their own passion, there is no reason for any resentment. The problem was that the golf-mad comedians could not keep their obsession to themselves. They seemed determined to share it with everyone else. Simply strap a large inflatable penis to your forehead, and everyone will immediately know which team you support. A. One’s an extremely painful almost unbearable experience, and the other one’s just having a baby.
What does a [insert team here] fan do after watching their team win the Premier League? Turn off the PlayStation!It might cause commuters headaches now, but the A58(M) was a pioneering stretch of road when it opened in 1964. Now part of the Inner Ring Road of Leeds, it was the very first motorway to open up in an urban area. It wasn’t popular at the time because they had to demolish 365 homes and over 170 buildings in the north west of the city centre. 56. You have us to thank for fizzy drinks Well, alright" he replies. "But I'm not jumping until you put the blanket down and move away from it......" I'm afraid he's not here," came the reply, "We already gave him the afternoon off so he could attend your funeral." Why were so many comedians now drawn to golf? The traditional reason - which was, and to some extent still remains, very relevant - was that it was simply the most convenient leisure activity for entertainers who worked at night and had most of the day free. A round or two of golf enabled the resting comedian to wake up and emerge into the fresh air, get some moderate exercise in pleasant and semi-private surroundings, and socialise with one or a few of their co-stars in a relaxed and healthy context. The facilities were in easy access, whether one was working at home, or touring, or in summer season - there was always a local golf club from which one could inveigle an invitation - and the al fresco experience was an excellent contrast to the smoky, artificially-lit and adrenaline-driven thrill or ordeal of the variety theatre or recording studio. Leeds is a surprising tourism hot spot nowadays, attracting more summer visitors than traditional British holiday destinations such as Torquay and Brighton. This is according to national tourism board VisitBritain. Nelson Mandela mistook Leeds for Liverpool
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