My Dad's Jokes are Punny, So Color Him Funny!: 101 hilarious cartoons

Product Information

I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. A big moron and a little moron were standing on a cliff. The big moron fell off. Do you know why the other one didn’t? Because he was a little more on. The present may stink, but at least now we can look forward to a better yesterday.”– Fry in Futurama

And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster. I'm not a fan of spring cleaning. Let's be honest, I'm not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either. Need more holiday hilarity? We've got 100+ Christmas jokes, not to mention an Unusual Christmas Quiz which will really test your trivia!

Click here for more!

Telling jokes can make people appear more confident and competent! So, here are your favorite seriously funny jokes! Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins? You just have to listen varicosely. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look? Because when you find it, you stop looking. I’d like to find out the reason why Snow White, who is an iconic Disney character, was shut out of Disneyland. But there are some jokes that you do not have to be a professional to understand, like this very funny jokes. Every time I told them people laugh, no matter age or condition.

I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals. Sadly, no pun in 10 did.How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from. Humor is widely seen as important in interpersonal relationships, but among leaders, it is seen as a helpful act. While some leaders use humor naturally, many others can use it for good. So here are some seriously funny jokes for you! I would like to know what hurricane said to the coconut palm tree. Watch out, this is not an ordinary blow job! Santa Claus – or Father Christmas, Père Noël, Kris Kringle, Weihnachtsmann, Babbo Natale or whatever you prefer to call him – works very hard over December. In the run up to December 25, he’s constantly keeping an eye on his elves’ gift production line, drawing up plans for the most efficient route across the world and making sure his reindeer are in peak physical condition for their shift on Christmas Eve.

Get ready: Some of what's to come is quite punny. Some might even make your eyes roll. But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? Others might even make you laugh so hard you cry, so don't say we didn't warn you. Many are one-liners so you can remember them to share and share again, and your kids can retell them to their friends too, maybe even years later. Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes!A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, "They're right behind you!" Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "Hey did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease? It makes cows go completely insane!" The other cow replies, "Good thing I'm a helicopter." Laughter is strong medicine. It draws people together in ways that trigger healthy physical and emotional changes in the body. Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. As children, we used to laugh hundreds of times a day, but as adults life tends to be more serious and laughter more infrequent. By seeking out more opportunities for humor and laughter, though, you can improve your emotional health, strengthen your relationships, find greater happiness—and even add years to your life. What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. Three guys go on a ski trip together. When they get to the ski lodge there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, “Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job.” The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up and says that he’s had the same dream, too. The guy in the middle says, “Wow that’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing.”